You and Me

Dear Lilly,

Me and You.
We’re BFF.
We have a rhythm.

 A beat we follow throughout the moments that fill our days.
I know what you want before you have the chance to  second point.
And you know, just from the look in my eyes, when I’m about to make everything all better.

I give you comfort,
and you bring me peace.
Peace in motherhood.
Peace that I’m not actually half bad at this whole mom thing.

 In fact, your beaming dimple remind me that I’m pretty darn good at it.
Because imperfections make for a better parent.
I’ve learned that over the last 21 years.
It’s probably the greatest gift I can give you–my imperfections…acknowledged.
As lessons to learn. As an example of a life lived honestly.
Because I have no intentions of tricking you into believing I’m perfect.

 My love for you is perfect.
But I am not.
I am, however, more confident this go around.
And I can see that you recognize my confidence.
You respond to it–are put to ease by it.

I don’t hesitate to take you on adventures with me.
I throw a diaper  and sippy cup in my purse and we are off.
I keep you close.
In my heart, in my thoughts, and in my arms.

Just yesterday, I was cuddling you close to my chest and smothering you with kisses.
I paused for a second to look into your eyes and beamed with pride at the beauty I saw staring back at me.
Then there was a tug on my sleeve.
Followed by another…
I looked down to see Colt staring up at me with a gentle smile on his face.
Colt: Mommy? You happy?
I was caught off guard by his thoughtful and unexpected question.
Before I could answer, Colt looked in my eyes and back over at you…
and as he climbed in my lap with us he answered for me.
Colt: Yep! You happy Mommy.
And then he squeezed my hand and skipped off into the play room to build train tracks.

My heart melted in that moment. Because your brother was right.
Since you joined our family,
I’ve discovered a new level of happy.
And it’s written all over my face.

My sweet, sweet Lilly. I keep you close, and I always will. 
Love You to the Moon–and Back, Mommy