Jeff....

The past five weeks have been just almost surreal.
 Jeff was admitted to the hospital two days after Easter. Over Easter weekend he became ill. Fever, chills and just felt ICK!! Then his toe and leg started to swell. He had a blister that just wasn't healing (thank you diabetes)  So on that Monday he went to the doctor. The doctor told him that he was doing everything he was suppose to and to keep it up. He didn't think that the toe was infected, but was worried about the leg swelling. He referred him to a specialist. So Tuesday, after he woke up with his leg even more swollen and a toe double the size and a blackish, purple color, Jeff went into the specialist.
I was at ballet with Lils when I got the call... They where admitting him to the hospital ASAP!

Thankfully I have the most wonderful mother who dropped everything to come stay with the kids and AMAZING friends who pitched in to help until she could get here.

The first day was probably one of the scariest of my life. When I got to the ER they where running all kinds of test on Jeff. The doctors where preparing me for the worst. Apparently he had a infection that got into his blood stream and into the bone of his foot. They where thinking he would lose his toe, but even more concerned his internal organs where shutting down. Basically they where preparing me for the worst. I really thought I was going to lose him. I do not think I have been more afraid of something in my life.
He spent four days in the hospital in the critical care unit.
Thankfully he went in when he did and had the excellent care that he did. Another day and we very well could of lost him.
I think I am still in shock over what almost happened!

The poor kids just did not know what to think with Daddy being gone and me being in and out so much. When I would come home they would be extremely clingy and act out. Colt was afraid to go to sleep, he was afraid I would leave again. Storrie would not let me put her down. My once confident baby became very insure and would cry every time I left the room. Lilly did really good. She was a bit clingy but over all just happy to have her grandma here. Oliver handled it like a little man (so proud of him). But he was very concerned. He needed more hugs then normal and I had to reassure him often his daddy was not going to die.

The little really wanted to see there dad (and he was missing them like crazy)so I took them up there. I think it might of been a bit to much for him. He was scared when he saw his daddy hooked up to everything. If I had to do it again I would not of taken him. He is at that age where he understands without really understanding.


 
Poor Colt.. He was so scared of all the tubes and wires.. He was afraid to get to close. If I had it to do again, I am not sure if I would of brought him. But honestly, I was so afraid from what the doctors where telling us that Jeff might not make it. I knew how important it was for him and the kids to see one another.



When I took Oliver, it was the first time I saw Jeff truly smile. These two have the most amazing relationship and can find humor in anything!!


I love watching Jeff with the kids. He loves them all so much! And they him!! Sara was blowing up my phone and prepared to jump on the first plane. And one of Jeff's biggest concerns was that he had planned on driving to Harper to watch Brenna in her track meet and stay over .. She was getting a award at the Honor Society the day after her track meet. Here he is so sick that he cant even think straight (104 temp) and being told he is probably going to lose his toe and he is worried about not being there for his daughter.
 This was just more proof of what I already knew, my husband is the most loving, selfless father I know!!

He was sent home with a port in his arm where I have to administer IV's twice daily (every twelve hours). We have a home health care nurse coming out every few days. His white blood count went back up so they had up the dosage which made him pass out a few days ago. I called 911 and he woke up to six paramedics/ firefighters standing over him. Again.. So thankful for amazing friends! I called Holly and she came to watch the kids and Cathie saw the lights so she came over to help also. And my sweet momma came to stay the night to help in case it happened again and we ended up in the hospital.
Thankfully it was just his body reacting to the higher dosage and his blood sugar dropped.
The firefighters where just amazing! They let the kids see the firetruck.. Colt was a little stand offish but my brave Lilly was all excited!! She stole those boys hearts! They invited us back up to the station Sunday for a tour.

Here we are over a month living with this illness... Even with the higher dose of medicine, his infection is not getting better. They just started him on a even higher dose of medicine. It is making him feeling nausea and just strange. They are getting ready to send him to a specialist in Dallas if this does not start bringing his infection down.  We were told that what we are looking at if this medicine doesn't work that he could lose his leg... which we can deal with, but even with that, he could be dead with in two years.
Sometimes this thought is almost paralyzing. How can I live without my best friend? Without the love of my life? How can I raise these four without their Daddy?
This is the lovely little IV that I have to hook up to Jeff twice daily to administer his medicine.
There is a line in his arm that goes directly to his heart. VERY scary!!!

Through all this,  what I have realized (again) is how blessed we are.  All the people who have come together to support us has been over whelming. So much food!! Which helped more then I can even say!! All the help with our kids.. Specially from my mother. She stayed five days to take care of them. And me:) Having her here when I came home from the hospital everyday was such a relief. Her hugs still make everything better!!! 
So many friends helped with the littles, brought us food and gifts for Jeff.

I do not have a clue what the future holds for our family. In reality we are never promised a tomorrow, so the plan is to do everything in our power to get him well, to hold close to God and to live everyday to the fullest creating memories and just being together.
As going places with these kids was not hard enough.. lol.. Now we have crutches!!!

Comments

  1. Oh hun, I'm so sorry Jeff is having such struggles. Sounds like someone was watching over him & that he is very lucky. Hope things are looking up for him & that he is on the road to recovery!! Don't forget to take care of yourself!!

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