BabyMine

Colt is getting to an age where he isn't by my side constantly like he used to be. He wants to run and play with the older children. It's exciting to see him make friends and do things on his own, but it's also so sad and scary to let go of him a little bit. 

Letting go of him a little bit means letting him get his heart hurt a little bit.

His heart is pure innocence still, unsuspecting and trusting. He doesn't understand why an older child hurts him, nor does he mind too much; he still wants to be friends. 

As a mother, I know this is just the first of many situations where I'm going to have my heart broken from seeing someone be mean to my baby. The baby I held in my arms and rocked to sleep so many times. The baby I spent 17 years praying for. The baby whose curls I played with while feeding. The baby whose feet I kissed and fingers I nibbled on. 

I have to watch the world not treat my baby as kindly as I would wish. And that's really hard.

There is a song from the movie Dumbo. I love it because in the movie, it shows all the mommies and babies going to sleep together at night. It's so fitting for how I'm feeling currently. I would do just about anything to have my little man curled up in the safety of my arms again. To keep him safe and to protect him always from all the ugliness in the world.