Our Christmas Miracle {Lilly's Story}

Tomorrow is Lilly's 2nd birthday so I thought it was as good of a time as any to share part of  the story of how she became our daughter.. 

Our Christmas miracle:)

 I swear it feels like yesterday  we were bringing home our Christmas baby. The last two years have been so precious and wonderful. My heart feels so full. I will never stop  being amazed at how God has truly given me my hearts biggest desires... Two beautiful daughters and the two most amazing sons {plus a sweet step daughter}. All I ever wanted since I was a baby myself was a house full of children. 

There were so many moments in my life that I did not think that was going to happen. Even though I knew I was so blessed to have my Sara and was {and still am} totally in love with her, I knew some thing was missing. I knew that I was meant to have more children. As more and more time went by I just did not see how that was going to happen. Doctor after Doctor told me it was not going to happen. It seemed impossible. 

Silly, unbelieving me!!

 How many times does God have to show me that NOTHING is impossible were He is concerned.

First Miracle was Ollie coming to live with us at 3 and over the past 4 years the mother son bond has grown so strong that it is as if I had him from the day he was born. Then almost 4 years ago, my second miracle, Colt's adoption. His birth is still engraved in my memory as if it happened yesterday. 

Even though Jeffrey and I dreamed of one more...  We would talk often how great it would be to have a little girl. I dreamed of tutu's and bows... We also knew how blessed we were to have our boys and what a miracle it  was to have full custody of Ollie and  to get to adopt even once. 

Then one day "A' and her grandmother hunted Jeff down at the court house. They waited for a long time until Jeff was done in court { for those of you who not know, Jeff is a attorney} "A" told Jeff she was 5 months pregnant and could not care for the baby and wanted to know if we wanted to adopt it. He arranged for them to come over that night and of course we were over joyed ! We KNEW this was our baby. I some how KNEW  in my heart it was a girl.  Just two weeks later it was confirmed... 

We were going to have a little girl. 

At this point, the adoption turned into the adoption from HELL! "A" put us so much emotional distress.  I can not even begin to tell you. She was a drug addict and used up until this point. We moved her into the pool house to keep a eye on her and make sure she stayed clean and took care of her self. It seemed weekly we were at the ER. The pregnancy was high risk and we had 2 to 3 doctor appoint months a week. 

She would change her mind daily about keeping the baby and honestly we did not know from one day to the next if we were going to have a baby or not.

 I remember looking at some of her baby clothes and crying not knowing if I would ever see her wear them or not... setting up her baby bed wondering if she would ever sleep in it. 

Colt was only 17 months when we found out about the baby and Ollie was 5. Sara was all most 19. I know that the months waiting for Lilly caused me not to be the mom that they need. I will never for get the time I thought I was alone, thinking that no one could hear me and I broke lose crying. 

Deep, gut wrenching  heart felt sobs. 

My sweet, beautiful oldest, my Sara, came in the room with tears down her face and fear in her eyes to see me that way and held me. She was only 19 and had to be the strong one for me.I have never felt so guilty or blessed to have a daughter like her.

There are so many things that happened during that time that I do not feel like I can share. I know some day Lilly will read this and there are things that I do not want her to know until she is old enough to understand. This part of the story will be hers. She will be the one to share when and if she sees fit. 

But many of the reason's are why we are not able to enjoy {like we do with Colt's first mom} a open adoption. Even though I do not like "A". I have no respect for the type of person she is and do not want her around ANY of my children, I will always be thankful to her for Lilly. Lilly is probably the only good , unselfish thing she has done in her life. I will just say that it was the most difficult, scary, uncertain time of our lives.  Jeff and I clung to God and to one another. During this time I fell more and more in love with my husband. Our marriage grew stronger.

On December 6, 2010.. We went to one of the many doctors appointments with the specialist. The sonogram showed the baby was in distress and and told us to get to the hospital ASAP. We were going to have a baby as in NOW!!  25 days before her original due date. She was going to be here for Christmas:)

Lilly came in the world that night. Beautiful and perfect. There seemed to be no effects from the drug use. She was healthy and beautiful

The first time we had Lilly alone in our room

She already has him wrapped around her little finger.

This is one of my all time favorite pictures.. The first time Colt met his sister

Auntie D

BeBee

  Two of my biggest supports
during waiting for Lilly. There are so many other friends that were a great support also, they just were not at the hospital so I do not have pictures:)

Lilly Elizabeth Robnett

Perfection!

This little girl was worth everything we went through and so much more. I would live through it a million more times if that is what it took to have her in our lives. Lilly was our "Christmas Miracle" and is our daily source of joy and pride. I could not imagine a better baby to be our daughter. She completed our family and is the  light of our lives. I believe with my heart that God has some amazing things planned for Lilly. She defied all the odds being born health or even alive for that matter. And not only is she healthy. She is so smart, even advanced. She is proof in more ways then one that God answers prayers.

I can not believe that tomorrow that our baby will be two. 

She is proof of God's grace and His love.  I thank Him daily for this face:)

Again I am going to quote the scripture that I stood on since the birth of Sara

"Delight yourselves in the Lord and

He shall give you ALL the desires of your heart"

Psalms 37:4