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Showing posts from May, 2011

thoughts...

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It has been a week and a half since I have had my surgery. I am feeling better, but still weak. I miss being able to do the normal day to day things. Just going out to eat with the family or fixing my hair wears me out. I have had a lot of down time. Time to think. There is something about almost dieing that makes you look at things different. I have found myself missing the old me at time. The self centered, vained all consumed me. Ok.. maybe not exactly. I just miss taking care of myself. I miss looking and feeling pretty. Being a mom is amazing but it takes a toll on ones looks. What I realized the most is... Nothing in life makes me happier then being a mommy. The last 2 and a half years since Oliver first came to live with us in October of 2008. This picture was taken out side of the courthouse in Lubbock right after the judge gave custody of Oliver to Jeff. It always makes me smile knowing that this is the day God gave me my first son. Then March 2009 God gave us our s...

Recovery... Ouch!!!

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My surgery was on Friday, so I am on my 5th day of recovery. I am not usually a whiney person and try be tough. I always bragged I had a high pain tolarence where surgery was concerned. Well let me tell you, not any more. I am the biggest baby I have ever known. I have never hurt so bad in my life. To make matters worse the anestheolgist over-medicated me. My blood pressure dropped scarily low. It was 43 over 38. They where afraid for a minute I might not wake up. I am so thankful that so many wonderful friends where praying and that I am alive today to hug my babies. It is so scary how I could have never waked up and how my children came so close to not knowing me and knowing how much I love and wanted them. I want to say a special thank you to one of my besties, Dana, for staying with the babies on Friday so Jeff and mom could both be at the hospital. There is nothing more special then life long friends. Wish I would of taken a picture of her and the babies before I left, but I ...

Can you say STRESSED!!!

I found out last week I get to have a hysterectomy.. YAY me!!! The surgery itself and the pain afterward, of course is scary, but what makes me most nervous is how am I going to care for my kids. With a 2 year old, a almost 5 month old and a 6 year old I just do not have a clue how I am going to care for them. I can't pick the babies up for a week. This does not sound like long, but Colt is attached to my hip. He is the biggest mooma's boy I have ever seen. Then there is the house, feeding them, bathing them and don't forget the endless loads of laundry. I swear for every load I do, 2 take it's place. Jeff is going to take off as much as possiable and of course my mom will be coming over to help. But she can hardly use her arms and has eye deteration which is treatable, but still cause the most awful migrains (please pray for her). I am looking forward to her being her almost everyday for a week. Then to add to the stress, we are still planning on taking the cruise...